What’s the difference between a bagpipe and an onion?...

...Nobody cries when you cut up a bagpipe.

A sample of the humor that was flying about in the Red Dragon Pub tent at the Saline Celtic Festival, offered up by the lead singer of Rant Maggie Rant, a “Celtic band with an edge” from Ontario.Strangely enough, despite my heritage (“Dum Spiro Spero” is my clan motto, on our crest above) I’ve never attended the Celtic Fest. Too hot, too worn out from Summer Festival, gearing up for Art Fair – my excuses have been myriad.

Avoiding Saturday’s rains in the early part of the day, we unfortunately missed the dancing, piping, and sheep dog competitions. But we did arrive just in time for the final events of the Highland Games. Saline scored a major coup by hosting the Masters World Championships, for competitors over 40. It’s essentially the equivalent of “the Seniors” championship on the PGA. (I didn’t really need the caution tape to tell me not to go near these guys.)

We saw the finals of the Weight Over the Bar and Sheaf Toss events. On Weight Over the Bar, they’re tossing a 40 pound lead weight with one hand. The “sheaf” is actually a bale filled with 16 pounds of beans – the competitor at right won the event, and in this photo is actually trying for the world record of over 34 feet!

“Hoser, guess where I am?!” I shouted gleefully into my cellphone, connected to my much older brother in San Jose. “At the Masters Championships!!” He exclaimed, “no way! I read about that on the web!” My brother is the genealogy buff in the family, and still glowing over the fact that he was invited to carry the clan banner at the recent Highland Games near his hometown (that's him in the Hawaiian shirt).

Similar to Heritage Fest in Ypsi, there were historical re-enactors in tents (how do they cope with the bugs in what is essentially the foggy bottom of Mill Pond Park? Do they allow themselves the modern luxury of Deep Woods Off?) and a little merchant village. I was particularly tickled when one of the kilt sellers asked me about my clan tartan, which I tied as a sash onto my purse. And the men were like peacocks, wandering around in their kilts. “They must be pretty confident in their masculinity,” I commented to The Accountant. Friday night during “Pub Night” in the Red Dragon Tent, Chris Snider was crowned “Mr. Pretty Legs” wearing the Stirling tartan. When I introduced myself and asked to take his picture, Chris seemed a little alarmed and introduced me to his wife RIGHT AWAY.

How many Scots does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One. To say “occhh, screw it! We’ll drink in the dark!”

The biggest revelation of the Festival was the music. If I had had any inkling there were so many fantastic bands, I would have been attending this event for years. Two different stages hosted a whole spectrum of interpretations of Celtic music. We saw the more traditional Heaton Trio and the slightly more modern, improvisational Wild Wood, and I was especially partial to the aforementioned Rant Maggie Rant and the Kreelers. We started counting and Mark Fletcher, lead instrumentalist for RMR, played at least five different instruments - beautifully! And The Kreelers fall a bit into the “Celtic Punk” category inspired by my favorites The Pogues, and recently more popularized by bands like the Dropkick Murphies and the Tossers.

Listening to music in the Red Dragon Tent, we were joined at our table by Patrick Little, chairman of the Festival and Cliff Carlson, publisher of the Irish American News. “Who do I talk to about volunteering next year?“ I asked Pat, after introducing myself. You would have thought I’d presented him with a Red Ryder BB gun, he asked for my phone number and email address so quickly.

As pointed out by the Ann Arbor Snews, the Festival has a history of financial struggle. But Pat and the organizers worked hard this year to re-energize the event , with the addition of the Masters and new competitions. Unfortunately Mother Nature, and TV weather forecasters, conspired against them. “Did the weather this morning kill you?” I asked. “Not so much the weather, as The Weather Channel!” When I asked what he meant, Pat explained that the PREDICTIONS of rain all day, when in fact it cleared up around 1pm, were what really hurt attendance.

So, members of the Clan Brouhaha, I exhort you! Put the second weekend of July and next year’s Saline Celtic Festival on your calendars, and help keep this great event going strong! And when you attend, maybe you’ll find me volunteering behind the bar sporting my tartan and pulling a fine pint (well, paper cup) of Murphy’s.