Liberal Do-Gooders Whoop It Up

Having waited out a storm system that brought an inch of rain and six possible tornado touchdowns to southeastern Michigan, I arrived a little late for the ACLU membership party at the home of Roger Kerson and Robin Kaplan.

Adding my shoes to the pile (no Pradas visible, so I’ve been wracking my brain for an analogy to the Republican “plain cloth coat” chesnut, but coming up empty – email me if you’ve got something), I entered just as the Michigan chapter’s Legal Director, Mike Steinberg, was finishing. He must have been speaking for a while in the 90 degree-plus-heat, cause Membership Director Mary Bejian piped up “why don’t you talk about affirmative action then be done?”

So Mike gave an overview of how the ACLU continues to address the ramifications of the passage of Proposal 2. Because the proposal passed when the admissions process for fall 2006 was already complete, he pointed out that the U of M didn’t see a huge dip in minority admissions since the year was “front loaded.” We can expect to see the downward trend starting this fall.

Agenda out of the way, folks got down to the serious business of socializing. I’ve still got the whole Karl Rove thing on my mind – I asked Dave Devarti why there weren’t any “Karl Rove Resigned” parties in town, and he informed me that there were. I guess I just wasn’t on the guest list! So I posed the following question to several guests, “If you could send a goodbye, don’t-let-the-door-hit-you-on-the-way-out gift or message to Karl Rove, what would it be?”

Mike Steinberg: “A gay pride pin.”
Jim Sullivan: “The gift I would send would be ticking.”

Melissa Combs: “A wet towel and a pitcher of water.”
Mary Bejian: “An orange jumpsuit and a one-way ticket to Guantanamo.”
Roger Kerson: “I’d tell him that Bush isn’t as dumb as he looks and you’re not as smart as you think you are.”

Doug Cowherd: “I’d write him a note that says ‘please don’t go,’ at least not until after the election. Karl Rove is the best thing to ever happen to the Sierra Club.”
Gus Teschke: “Have fun in Hell, Your Infernal Highness”

Dave Devarti (receiving a quick salsa lesson from Mary): “I’d send him a ferret. And then the ferret could go into his office, get all the good inside dope, then bring it back to me.”

Eileen Spring: “Herpes!”
Paquetta Palmer: “Anything I could think of would be too cruel, and I wouldn’t do that. I don’t believe in an ‘eye for an eye’. I’d show him respect, even though he doesn’t deserve it.”

Meeting Paquetta for the first time was memorable. Mary introduced us, chastising Paquetta for not wearing a name badge. “Well, you know ‘Palmer’ is not my real last name. My African name was probably something much more interesting,” she told me. “Do you mean that Palmer is just the name on some big house in the South somewhere?’ I asked. “Yeah, you white people and your names – what do they mean?” Stumped, I replied “well, you know that Bakers bake, and Coopers made barrels. What do you suppose Palmers did?” The look Paquetta gave me basically implied “who let this weird, white girl into the party?”

Not the first time that question has been asked.